Last Day at the MTC

I guess I didn't realize just how good I had it, with Missionary Girl being in the MTC.  Oh sure, we all know I cried like a baby after I dropped her off, but still, it was comforting to know exactly where she was, who she was with, and what she was doing.  I had been dropping her off just down the road at BYU for two years. I should have paced myself, that was just the warm up.

 For the past two weeks I've been comfortable in the fact that she's being fed and that people are kind to her.  I know the things she shares with others are not being ridiculed or mocked.  She's safe from dogs, cars, bike chains and frost bite.  I know she's surrounded by 5,000 young people who have the same goals as her.  I know every person she's met thus far only wants the best for her.  She's been in a spiritual bubble; learning, growing, and absorbing goodness of that great place.

Today is her last day there.  Tomorrow morning she'll leave the MTC and board a plane for Syracuse, New York.  I'm not sure where she'll settle and I'm not even sure when I'll know.   It's a little bit of a leap of faith...for her and for me.  I realize it's not Russia, or the Phillipines, but it's still a bit of my heart, moving farther and farther away.

Tomorrow the bubble evaporates for her and she becomes a missionary, missionary! No more classrooms with patient teachers. No more fellow BYU students pretending to be investigators.  No more dear elder letters waiting at the end of each day.  I know she loves it there and is sad to leave it behind.  But I also know a bigger part of her is anxious to get to New York and share the gospel with others.  I am happy for that.  If we don't put into action what we know, then what good is there in  the knowing?

I am a proud mom.  I am a nervous mom.  I am a mom who still sees my little girl in ponytails, giving her first talk in Primary.  I am a mom who wants my kids to fight their own battles, but one who stands on the sidelines ready to mess you up come to their defense should they need me. I am a mom who believes that my child has made one of the best and most important decisions of her life.  I am a mom who is fully relying on my Father in Heaven to watch over my missionary.  I am a mom who misses my girl.

Despite my deepest desire, I will not be a super spy passenger on that airplane tomorrow (but seriously, wouldn't it be great to see all those kids board that plane??!!).  My heart will be 30,000 feet in the air somewhere between Salt Lake City and Detroit by the time I wake up in the morning.  Her brothers and sister will be celebrating the last day of school and we'll be busy like always.  But every now and then I'll look up and wonder; did you land? Did you transfer? Hope you're not stuck in Detroit! Do you know who your new companion is yet? Are you excited? Are you nervous? Do you really know how much I love you?

I love you to the moon and back Missionary Girl. God bless and Godspeed.